How do you let somebody know it’s time to go on a diet?

In short – You don’t. Here’s why.

You can’t decide what someone else should do. You can’t tell somebody that it’s time for them to start a diet, because it won’t lead to any result. The decision whether or not to start dieting should be taken from the person themselve. What you can do is to support them with all you can and be next to them on the way.

You can’t help to someone who don’t need your help.

I was in a bar with friends. Next to us there were 3 ladies, in their 30’s. We were enjoying the night, dancing, having fun. There were 4 guys, few tables away. One of them bought a drink to the ladies next to us and he went introducing himself. Suddenly out of nowhere comes a guy. He catches the lady who is talking to that guy on the arm and starts beating her, pulling her hair. He took her outside.

At this moment my friend says: “We have to do something! We have to help her! We can’t just watch how he’s beating her!”

I tell: “Why? Leave them. This is something between them. Who are you to mess in their lives?”

She wouldn’t listen. She went after them outside and started beating the guy, shouting at him to stop. Suddenly, completely unexpected the girl who was beaten started hitting my friend.

My friend was totally shocked!

She asked her: “But why are you hitting me? I wanted to help!”

Then the girl answered: “Leave us! This is our relationship! I didn’t ask you for help. Go away!”

At the end my friend not only didn’t helped the girl, but she was beaten as well and she was even guilty for messing up in their relationship and live.

How’s this sounding to you? Little unexpected, right? But this is what happened. So, what is the conclusion?

You can’t “help” somebody who didn’t asked for your help. Even if you want to do it with all the good intentions in this world – it may not be appreciated and you can even become the guilty one. Everybody has different view on live. We don’t look trough all the same “pink” glasses.

Mostly people who are in a situation, like this girl – in bad relationship or those who gained too much weight realize the problem. They are very well aware of their situation. They are just not ready to solve it yet. Reasons can be different, but the first step should be made from the one who is in a such situation. When they are ready for it, they’ll change. And if they are not ready yet, you trying to help them will only make things worse.

That’s why, if you want to help someone in a difficult situation – be a supportive friend, and not a critical judge for them. Otherwise, your good intentions can be misunderstood.