If you want love, then why you don’t have it?MIND See all MIND posts
If you are single and you want to meet the love of your life, you have probably asked yourself why things are this way? Why every time, you think that you’ve recognized the prince on the white horse, he turns into a frog?
May be the men you meet are always busy or already in relationship. Probably it’s better to be alone than in a bad company. You can think of thousands of explanations why things are this way. I’m sure some of them will sound pretty sensible, others will be supported by personal experiences of friends. But the question is: Are they correct?
When we look at something, it becomes our focus and looking around, we seek only confirmations. You have heard about the glass filled half with water. For one it is half full and for another it is half empty. We see what we want to see and deceive ourselves that this is an objective picture – the reality. Nothing of the sort – we have always only a perspective on reality.
What stands between you and love?
One or more of these 5 reasons can be the answer of the question “Why you are searching for the love and you still can’t find it?” Changing them, you will change your perspective on reality and remove obstacles on your way.
Fear has many faces, which can scare you in a different way – fear of abandonment, fear of rejection, fear of failure and many others. Many of our fears are born in our early childhood experiences, other due to the experience we gain as we grow up. We are born only with love and without fear, but soon or later, depending on people around us we can start feeling the fear.
In order to overcome our fears, we first need to know them, to accept them and finally not to let our fears make us numb and to act despite of them. If we stop feeding our fears with our faith in them – that they are reasonable and possible, they die.
2. Love for the status quo
You can often meet women who say they want a relationship, but they are so sticked to the life they have without relationship, that such a change scares them. Their mind says – it would be wonderful to share my life with someone, their heart is filled with longing for love. But from the depths of the unconscious a little voice, which they do not even realize says: “To lose your freedom sucks. What happens when someone starts throwing his socks everywhere and keeps you accountable for every step you make?” Exactly in this voice are coded our limited beliefs about what relationships are and whether or not there is a true love, which will give you wings, instead of cutting them.
3. Repetitive wrong patterns
If you ever felt, that your supposedly wonderful new relationship begins suspiciously to look like a previous relationship you had, and it even feels like you know what’s going to happen next, then you fall in this category. Patterns will not change until you work on them – until you don’t learn the lessons from them.
You can get out of this vicious circle with the help of a specialist. When you change yourself and your own understanding of things, then there will also be a change in the men that you attract in your life.
4. The past
It may have been traumatic, it may have left you scars and wounds, but is already behind you. Forgiving yourself and others is extremely liberating.
If while reading this, in your head arises spontaneously the question “How to forgive? I can’t!”, then it is even more necessary to do it. A sign that you really have achieved it, not only thinking so is the feeling of ease and absence of pain thinking of the past.
5. Lack of love for yourself and a sense of personal worth
Remember – the most precious person in your life – this is you. You are born to be loved and you don’t have to do anything to earn the love.
We get a chance for a lasting and harmonious relationship with someone else only when we create such with ourselves. If we do not fully accept and love ourselves, then others will love our masks and incarnations, not ourselves. If you don’t love yourself it will be very difficult for you to believe to somebody else who says he does.
The path of love
When we are born, we are born with love and this is the only feeling that we experience. Then often because our parents are not next to us, scold us, we start thinking – love means to feel pain.
But we don’t want to feel pain, and then we start to fear. Fear – not to be abandoned, not to be hurt, fear of non-acceptance.
Then we put the mask of defence on ourselves. We think that if we are going to fall in love, we will be hurt.
On our way we meet other people, who also have same defence masks like ours. This way we can’t meet each other in the energy of love.
When some day we meet someone, who provokes the love in us and we decide to give it a chance, then this person has to go through our defencive wall that we’ve built. Next he has to pass our fears – not to be abandoned, fear that we don’t deserve this person, that will not work out between you and so on. Then this relationship passes through the pain and if we continue to go further and further we’ll reach the love.
Love and be loved. Throw all your fears and past behind. Love yourself in first place, if you want others also to love you!